Werner Herzog's new memoir is filled with amazing anecdotes: eating an orange for the first time. Teaching NASA astronauts how to milk a cow. The sketch on this page is my interpretation of the time he was briefly kidnapped as a child by a local witch.

Basically, every paragraph could be a painting, so I thought, "Wait a minute... why not transform some of these passages into paintings?" 

So that's the deal: by ordering you will receive a fantastical painting inspired by the life and writings of Werner Herzog.

Medium: oil paint! Example image is a pen and ink sketch, but rest assured you will be getting a color painting.

Material: sturdy 1/8" thick masonite panel with a little notch in back so you can hang it without needing a frame (or you could frame it, either/or). Sometimes I paint on canvas, but you will most likely be getting a work on panel (I like the smoother texture).

Size: The panels I use come in 4" x 4", 5" x 5", 6" x 6", 5" x 7", 8" x 8", 8" x 10", 10" x 10", 12" x 12", 6" x 12", 9" x 12", 11" x 14", 10" x 20" and 16" x 20." So it will be one of those sizes. I decide the scale based on what makes the best sense for the concept, i.e. if something is funnier as a tiny square it will be a tiny square, and if it needs to be big it will be big.

Delivery: Anywhere from one to six months depending on my current workload. In 2022 I took too many commissions and got behind in delivering them, so this time I am limiting myself to only a handful at once and opening news slots as they become available (so if this listing says 'SOLD OUT' you can check back later). I will do my best to notify you if there are unanticipated delays.

If you have any questions, email me at brandonbird@gmail.com.